how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
