i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
