its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
