I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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