Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
