Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
