He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
