"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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