they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
