tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Boobs speak an international language.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
