I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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