I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
