Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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