I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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