like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
