Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
