I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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