Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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