All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
