there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
