dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
