my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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