Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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