i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
