Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
