Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
