Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I AM VODKA MAN
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
