You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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