He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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