I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
