She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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