there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
