we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
