P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
