if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
