I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
