i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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