so explain again why im purple
no
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
