Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
