the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
