Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think my moral compass just broke
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