I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
