I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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