There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
