I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
