did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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