i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
