i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
