happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
