My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
